wild flower spirit: TRANSFORMATION

Janine Weber

Just came back from my weekly Creative Dance Circle, my body vibrating with energy, I look up into the city-lighten sky, searching for the moon, mist is over the city.

For the next eight weeks, our creative dance group has been given the theme 'Transformation' to care-fore, to digest well within each dancers womb. Ah, what an exciting 'stage' in Life, especially the Highpoint within this Metamorphosis-Cycle. The outside world becomes foggy, uninteresting, within though a flame is just starting to glow. The Core of Being!

Letting go of the fictionary Scarcity-World, is to accept what is. Embracing all Life and its contents, to surrender to it. No attacking anymore, stepping out of the box, to die. This is the point where I am al-one. Just here, watching the play 'outside', no personal identification. A gentle feeling of sorrow, of relief, of peace overcomes my Being. Is it that easy?

It seems hard to let go of thoughts and images, to fall into surrender, give up all the years of memorized survival attacks created with the inner wish to be loved. When this happens though, I find peace.

Living as a Being within a World of Fiction, is quite a Task. A world of hyperenergetic-forms, constantly attacking eachother. Some energyforms step out of this Pandora Box and simply decide not participate anymore. It becomes a Theatreplay, watching, studing, amusing. The Box has vanished. Life becomes an Art-Canvas without Borders, without a Frame; the Watchers become Artists of Life.

from the Net

The white canvas -

It's like a layer of dust that covers up the real painting.

It's just a matter of cleaning it. I have a little brush to
clear away the blue, another for the red, and
another brush for the green. And when I've
finished cleaning, the picture is all there.

- Georges Braque (1882-1963)

Nature is one of my favourite Teacher's in becoming a-Live-ing Being. I choose Nature as a Mentor, when in my Life-Picture a major Transformation seems necessary. Planning the whole trip weeks ahead, organizing gear and food, a beaten-up check-list with me every moment, books and maps in every corner, not to forget the First-Aid-Kit, Camera, Notebook and most important: PACK ULTRALIGHT! Believing to plan Lifes actions is to be in control of it, although I should know the better by now, is non-sense. In the Unknown World, always the unknown will happen.

Janine Weber

Although I am all excited, there is this nagging fear in the background, two forces in competition with eachother, believing to know what's coming up to them. Stepping out of the Plastic World into the purity of Natures World, stepping into the Core of Life, raw and untamed. Unknown surroundings, unknown landscapes, unknown trees and pathways. After awhile Be-ing in Nature, it becomes the Known. Now I sense stepping into the unknown, is the otherway around; the city has now become raw and wild.

Stepping into the Unknown is to leave the Known behind. It is a new Beginning, a new World with new realities, new colors, new feelings. It is not necessary though to wander into the Wilderness of Nature to experience Transformation; it is there, in every Heartwish, every Dream, in the Fear of taking that step. This Cocktail mixture of excitement. That is stepping into the Wild, leaving the known behind, not trying to control the facts. Transformation happens in the Unknown, seldom in the Known.

Life means no harm, it is only the thoughts and meanings given to it which create such a Belief. Stepping into the Wild, is about learning to trust given Instincts, passed on over generations, from the beginning of Time. They will be there when needed, trust me. Living this way, is to become a-live, to feel a-wake, to feel the energy within, vibrating in ecstasy.

I used to and still do, find all kind of excuses to not take these steps 'into the wild', but the Nectar of Life and the Butterflies of Passion have become my Guides, Fear luckily my alley. Thank Good-ness! I understand now that when I sense a mix of fear and excitement, referring to a dream or vision I wish to fulfill, that there I can sense the possibility of Transformation, to become a-live again.

Janine Weber

I have become to realize, that Lifes pure Core is within me every moment. If I am out in Nature or in a City, I carry it within. Life is in itself a beautiful 'wild' Being, an infinite wilderness of realities, of worlds, changing constantly. There are Universal Laws, to know at least some of them helps to enjoy Life in a more relaxed way. Experiencing Life as it is, offers the knowledge

of these Laws and the opportunity to live more freely. The belief to plan and to control Life, will eventually bring peace one day, is again non-sense. How long does a moment in Life take?

Again, Life-Experience offers these lessons. Life IS Transformation, major changes are noticed dramatically, minor ones come gently to the surface over time. By facing these moments of mixed emotions, of fear and excitement; a wider perspective of Life becomes visible. What a wild picture, colorful and a-live, constantly moving and still at the Core. There is no Frame to catch Life within it. It is a wild moving Matrix of Energy, bursting with colors, images and happenings. CREATION!

Live every moment as if it's my last, live my dreams and face my fears.

This is my key to the door of Free-Dom, to Peace with All, to Be-in(g).